Published by Mundo de la madre on March 2 2023, sad gurl hourz is a collection of poems written by madre desmadorsa. get your tequila or cup of tea & download to read it here!
“my revenge will be artistic, not personal”
Sad Gurl Hourz: el libro
to have had the opportunity to experience different love stories feels like a privelege. some felt more than others, unos dejando miel amarga en mi, y otros que crearon abundancia. all experiences require feeling and grieving them. when there is an exchange of love, new life is created. not in the literal sense, but as in a bond is created and life is given to it by those involved. when the love exchange stops, where does the love go? what happens to it? how do we take it out of us? Do we put it somewhere else to live?
sad gurl hourz is that new place for our grief to live.
lets go back to january 2023, it’s cold af and our seasonal depression was peaking. i’m lucky enough to be on a flight returning to our beautiful p’urhepecha territory of tingambato, michoacan. when i say i had the best vacation, that is an understatement, i romanticize the fuck out of this vacation because it truly was too good to be true. i experienced so many different types of love during this trip. i’m talking about falling in love with the land, the culture, the food, las noches de peda, y hasta un amorcito de rancho. a love that was so sweet, so safe. allowing myself to lean into my vulnerability opened me up and provided safety for my heart to love and writing to flourish. during this time i wrote, danced, loved, and drank hella tequila.
once February 2023 came around, it was time to come back to reality. arriving back in seattle was so heartbreaking, i had experienced de todo in such a short amount of time, i was missing it and still processing. not only that, but i was also trying to make a situationship work that just wasn’t meant to last. cada dia crecia mas la tristeza de dejar mi lindo pueblo y la experienca.
for years i had been working on many manuscripts with hopes of one day being picked up by some fancy publishing house. after experiencing my overly romanticized vacation i started considering self publishing and thought, “why can’t i publish my own book?” So I did. A month later sad gurl hourz, el libro was created and printed entirely by me. the book is a collection of new and old poems i had written within the last few years. every single poem written in that book was a loving goodbye to past lovers and friends.
releasing this book taught me so much about my capabilities as a writer and creative. i trusted and loved myself. pushing myself to be vulnerable, knowing that because i had taken my time to publish a book, i was doing it at the moment it was meant to happen. exactly how i was meant to experience the sweetest love.
now my sadness, my misunderstood sadness, my grief, my misunderstood grief, live in this book. read it, cry, release it, and never be scared to fall in love again.